Colman Coyle Christmas Cracker Quiz 2012

1. Why was the AA man crying and banging his head?
Answer: He was heading for a Breakdown

2. I tried ringing the Swine Flu Helpline,...
......but all I got was crackling

3. What's the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
Answer: Snowballs

4. Why don't you see penguins in Britain?
Answer: Because they're afraid of Wales

5. What did Sean Connery say when some books fell on his head?

Answer: "I've only Myshelf to blame"

6. Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
Answer: Wherever you Left it

7. Why did Santa call the Mind Helpline?
Answer: Because he was worried about his Mental elf

8. How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
Answer: Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear

9. A French Cat, Un Deux Trois, and an English cat, One Two Three, went for a swimming race round a lake. Who won?
Answer: One Two Thee, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinque

10. Who's the bane of Santa's life?
Answer: The elf and safety officer.